


The shadows won’t ever find you

by Smugdendingle



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cancer, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Husbands, Leukaemia, Losing Hair, M/M, Sickness, Smut, treatment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-07-12 04:01:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15987215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smugdendingle/pseuds/Smugdendingle
Summary: Robert has Leukaemia his loved ones help him.( Sorry rubbish at Summary. More chapters will be added if you want this to carry on. )





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’m back! Sadly haha. I wanted to start writing again but I still feel insecure about my writing ( another insecurity to add to my list. ) So, I’m sorry if there is any spelling mistakes, grammar etc.  
> I did my research about the condition/ illness so I hope I’ve got things right. But you never know what’s right or wrong on websites. Also if I’ve offended anybody I’m sorry if I have wrote it incorrectly. Also in this Robert and Aaron have been married 2yrs, Seb is 2 years old.

Robert is sitting on the couch watching top gear because Aaron forced him into it, but he keeps rubbing his neck and back. “ Rob you have been in pain for weeks. You really need to see a doctor. “ Aaron sounding very worried as he sits next to his husband on the couch, giving him a kiss on the lips. 

“ It’s stress okay, work and Seb it’s probably just getting all on top of me that’s all. “ fed up Robert replies in a annoyed tone because Aaron has been going on about it none stop, he ignores the pointed look he is been given.

“ No, it’s not and you know that, you’re always tired, sleeping either in work or on the couch. “ looking directly at Robert, very concerned. “ You cut yourself whilst shaving and it bled for ages, that isn’t normal. “ Aaron now has deep concern on face and it just makes Robert feel guilty for putting his husband through more stress. “ Also you are always getting bruises without even hitting anything, you are losing weight. You look ill can you please just listen to me and book an appointment. It could be something serious. Even Liv has noticed there’s something wrong, she’s worried about you. “ Aaron says with worried tone, he holds Roberts hand and makes circles on his hand. “ I just don’t want to lose you if there is something wrong I don’t want it to be too late. “  
Robert grabs both of Aaron’s hands and kisses them, and moves to his lips. “ You are not going to lose me okay? I’m going to book an appointment tomorrow. “ Robert gives Aaron a small smile which reassures Aaron but he is secretly frightened with what might be wrong with him. 

Later on in the day he rings the doctors up and books an appointment.

Robert is currently laying on his back sweating like pig at two o clock in the morning. But this has been happening for weeks and Robert is now more than used to it, but it still drives him insane, with the added aching in his bones and how some parts of his body are more sensitive than the rest it makes him feel a bit scared because he knows something isn’t right but he just wanted to push the thought away, stay in denial. But as he is laying there he is overthinking everything, how terrified he is if he does have a illness because who would look after Aaron? Or what about Seb or Liv? If he died, that fact alone just scares him because he is actually happy, the first time in his life he is actually happy. He has a home, a husband, a son, two little sisters and lot more he doesn’t want to lose that at all. 

But he might not have a choice what if there is something wrong with him and it’s too late? What if he only have months- weeks to live, to say goodbye to his loved ones. Robert looks over to his clock flashing bright red numbers stating that it’s now 3 o clock, he breaths in deeply trying to relax because over thinking won’t do anything will it? He looks over to his husband laying next to him, his head on Robert’s chest and a protective arm wrapped around his thin waistline. He looks so peaceful and constant while he’s asleep Robert won’t ever admit it but he loves watching Aaron sleep. Yes it might sound creepy and look like he’s a weirdo but no one will have to know will they? Robert kisses Aaron’s head and let unconscious take over till he wakes up again.

“ Morning sleepy head. “ Aaron leaning over Robert stroking his head giving him a light kiss.  
“ ... hmm ... tired. “ groaning as he tries to fall back to sleep.

Aaron just smiles at him, as Roberts face just scrunches up and gives Aaron a kiss on his hand. “ you know you can’t go back to sleep, You have that appointment remember? What time was it again? “

“ 10 o clock. “

“ Come on we need to go it’s half nine, we can’t be late for this. “ Aaron already getting up from bed, before lightly giving Robert a kiss on the lips. 

“ fine “ grumbled Robert “ but give us a proper kiss “ Aaron playfully rolls his eyes and kisses him hard on the lips, all messy and wet. They both got up to get dressed eventually.   
   
“ Can you stop worrying because your making me more nervous and when I’m nervous it makes you more worried. “ said a little bit frustrated Aaron as both of them are sitting in the waiting room, Aaron is with his annoying, nervous wreck of a husband. 

But as Robert was about to speak the doctor called for him.

“ So, Mr Sugden - Dingle what’s the matter today? “ as Robert sits down in the doctors room. 

“ I’ve been getting pains in some parts of my body. As well as bruises, bleeding that doesn’t stop, tenderness, sweating and always sleeping.”

“ Right. Well let’s do some checks then shall we. “ as the doctor opened his box to get his equipment out. 

When the doctor was finished checking everything, he speaks with typing on his computer.   
“ I’ll send you to the hospital for some blood tests today. They will be expecting you at 12:00. “

“ There is something wrong with me isn’t there? If I’m having them today. “ sounding terrified. 

“ I’ve just got some concerns that’s all. But please just try to rest and don’t over do it. “ the doctor gives him a letter with the details on. 

As Robert says he’s thanks and goodbyes he meets Aaron outside and they drive to the hospital, to have the blood tests. 

Both of them are sitting at the table eating lasagna when Aaron says that he’s been quite all day, sounding concerned. 

Robert just shrugs whilst playing with his food. “ just thinking about stuff. “

Aaron somehow gets what he’s talking about and reaches his hand over to Robert. “ I’m sure everything is fine. But if it isn’t we deal with it together. “ Aaron places his hand over Roberts and gives him a small smile, trying to hide his own fears. Rest of the night they snuggled up and be clingy with each other because they are both scared with the outcome. 

Robert leans over gives Aaron a kiss o his chest and moves up to his face. “ Morning. “ Aaron grumbles light heartily as they both kid. which turns a bit more wet and messy.   
But both of them get interrupted as the phone started ringing.  
“ leave it get it after. “ as he started kissing Aaron’s neck again  
“ no it might be important. “ as he grabbed the phone passed it to his husband.  
“ hello? Today? Right okay bye.”  
“ Was it the hospital?”  
“ Yeh. They need to speak to me. Soon as possible. Not a good sign is it. “ as he sighs gets up to get ready.   
“ Just try not to overthink it. I’ll phone Adam say I won’t be in today. Also I’ll phone Nicola as well.” Feeling nervous with what they might say to Robert. 

The drive to hospital was filled with tension, worrying about what will be said. Worrying that if there was something wrong, if they will be parted forever. 

When they make it to the hospital they were sent to the doctors room quickly.  
“ Hello Mr Sugden - Dingle. Your blood test results shown up something and we need to do more tests as well as others. “

“ What was shown up? Do you know what it is? “

“ By looking at your results we are fairly certain you have leukaemia. “ Robert sits back in shock, was not expecting that. But what was he expecting? Aaron has tears in his eyes as he reaches over to Robert and gives his hand a tight squeeze.   
“ we urgently need to do more tests to see what type you currently have. “

“ Is it curable? “ Aaron spoke up for Robert because he could tell Robert was in shock, wasn’t even sure he was breathing. 

“ This leukaemia is curable but as every other cancer it might not work because of the treatment or it could come back. I’ll send you for tests today to make it urgent and should get the results today or tomorrow. “

Robert and Aaron left the room feeling numb, Robert was walking slowly his expression blank. Aaron needed to be the strong one for the both of them now, he couldn’t breakdown when Robert needed him. 

Both of them finally came back from the long day at the hospital it was stressful and tiring, but Robert was still quite not speaking, but only when he needed too. As Robert was sitting on the couch not making any move to do anything, Aaron sat down next to him basically pleading his husband to show any emotion.   
“ Rob please say something. “   
“ I’m going to die.” Robert replies in a dull, flat tone. 

“ You are not going to die, not on my watch. You heard the doctor he said it can be curable.”

“ But he also said there might be a chance that it won’t. It might come back! if it’s that far advanced it might be too late. ” Robert’s voice broke he started to cry

“ I know okay but we have keep calm down, we can look at different treatments If it doesn’t work, or we wouldn’t have to look further because they would know what type it is and we can go on from there.” trying his best not to breakdown himself as he held his husbands fragile body. 

“ I’m scared. I don’t know if I can go through this. I don’t even know if my body will react to the medication they are pumping through my body. What if I go through all the pain for nothing? I still die anyway. “

“ You’re not giving up before we even know what type of Leukaemia you have. “ with tears beginning to fall “ you’re not leaving me, Seb or Liv okay? You’re going fight this. “ both of them cuddling on the sofa being clingy waiting for the big news to take their toll on them.

They had to go to the hospital the following day and they were told that Robert had Acute Leukaemia and Robert can have treatment. Chemotherapy, Biological therapy he may need more if the cancer has gotten worse. Aaron was asking loads of questions needing to know everything whilst Robert was just feeling numb because he felt everything was going to fast, so much information, appointments, dates being flown around that he couldn’t keep track. It felt like he was in daze, a nightmare and he couldn’t wake up from it. 

“ Mr Sugden? ”   
“ Robert? Are you okay? Can you hear us? “   
He only realised that the doctor and Aaron were talking to him he must of blanked out or something, trying to use his voice again feeling slightly embarrassed. “ oh sorry, what did you say? “

“ the treatment can start tomorrow Chemotherapy and Biological therapy at 11:00. “  
Robert nodded. Felt like he was floating, he felt so light headed. 

When they were at the Mill Robert finally spoke after being quite and distant. “ I - we need to tell Liv first and then everyone else. “

“ Yeh of course she’s coming home in 10 minuets we could talk to her then? “

“ Yeh best do it now otherwise I’ll talk myself out of it.” Aaron squeezing his shoulder to show some sort of support. 

Both of them knew when Liv was home because she made her presence known by banging doors throwing her bag against the wall. But when she got into the living room she could tell something was wrong both Aaron and Robert were looking sad, tensed and just blanked faces.   
“ What’s the matter? Whats happened? “ Liv walked over to them as she felt her chest go tight. Her voice going small and vulnerable. 

“ Liv sit down I need to tell you something. “ Robert sounding serious but he had a sad look in his eyes. 

Liv looking between both men   
“ Is it Chas? Is you? “ pointing at Aaron, He shook his head.   
“ I’m not ill Liv, Chas isn’t either.“ Liv knew deep down that something was wrong with Robert. But before she could reply Robert spoke, but very quietly. “I’ve been keeping this from you because I didn’t want to worry you even more, I know you have noticed I haven’t been myself for a while. “ he took a deep breath before speaking again. “ but I went to the hospital and got some blood checks done. “ Robert saw tears in her eyes as well as devastation. He knew Liv had a idea what was wrong. 

“ your ill aren’t you? “ her voice full of emotions, her voice breaking. 

“ Yeh I am. I have acute Leukaemia. “ she started crying and hugged Robert tightly as both of them were crying. 

“ your going die aren’t you? I don’t want you to die. Please I need you, Aaron and Seb need you, I don’t want you to die. “ Liv sounded so broken as she was sobbing into Robert’s shoulder.   
Aaron was silently crying because it was just so painful watching the two people he loves so much, crying into each others shoulders looking so broken.   
After both Robert and Liv finished crying, Liv went upstairs later being more quiet than normal both men knew they needed to keep an eye on her to make sure she’ll be okay. 

Aaron and Robert followed her up shortly after, from the emotional talk, being emotionally exhausted. Both of them laying in bed holding each other so close, fearing that they will be parted from each other, both went to sleep keeping the other close not wanting to be separated at the present.


	2. Chapter 2

Liv came down the stairs spotting Robert on the couch playing with Seb. She made her way over to them “ What time is your appointment? “ Liv asked awkwardly as she leaned on the couch whilst she made a funny face at Seb making him chuckle. 

“ 11:00 “ Robert said quietly whilst playing with Seb with one of his toy elephants clearly not in the mood to have a conversation, he was unusually quite because most mornings he would be singing to the radio, making funny noises to Seb. But since getting cancer he has withdrawn not talking it really upset Liv because she didn’t like seeing him like this.

“ oh okay. Well erm... hope it goes well. “ nervous and awkward Liv walked around the couch and give Robert a tight hug, which he give her one back. After they pulled a part Liv give Seb a little kiss on the head and she picked up her bag and coat left. 

Aaron saw both of them hug and watched as Liv left not wanting to interrupt their moment, he carried on walking down the stairs and made his way over to Robert and sat next to him on the couch, he noticed how tired and ill Robert looked and it just aches in his chest.   
Aaron put his arm around his husband and kissed side of his side and spoke softly to him.   
“ have you had any breakfast? “ as he put his head on his husbands shoulder, playing with one of Seb’s toys playing it with him. 

Robert shrugged and just spoke in a tired voice. “ Not hungry. “ not looking at his husband he didn’t even look like he was in the room, he was too quite he looked nervous and just so withdrawn not making eye contact with him as he spoke. 

“ you need to eat even if you don’t feel like it. “ Aaron kissed him again on the head as he made his way over to the toaster to make himself and Robert some toast. As he is waiting for the toasts he just feels so helpless because he feels awkward somehow. He doesn’t know how to act because he doesn’t want to upset or over crowd Robert but at the same time he just feels helpless. 

They finally make it to the hospital as they dropped off Seb at Diane’s house. But it took a bit longer than necessary because Seb didn’t want his daddies to go but Diane distracted him by some books and food. 

Last night Robert was searching everything about Leukaemia and what the side effects are whilst having chemotherapy and Biological therapy, which made him regret his decision about googling stuff because it made him even more scared because it said that you could lose your hair, he didn’t want to lose his gorgeous, blonde, thick hair because Aaron loves to play with it, the other side effects were being sick or nausea, losing weight it seemed that the side effects were worse than the actual cancer in it self. 

Aaron kept telling Robert to get off his computer some of the things people write are sometimes made to sound more dramatic and worse than it originally is, it doesn’t mean it put Roberts mind to rest. 

 

As they were sitting in the waiting room ready to go into the chemo room, they were just sitting in comfortable silence. But Robert was freaking out in the inside, the nurse came through to the waiting room called him. “ Mr Sugden? “ both men got up they followed the nurse to one of the chairs in the next room, she let Robert get comfy before telling him the information. “ your treatment starts today this is going to be a bit more of a aggressive form of chemotherapy and Biological therapy. “ the nurse stopped talking and got the things ready put Robert onto the drip. 

Aaron and Robert were sitting in comfortable silence Aaron reading a car magazine and Robert daydreaming about all sorts. “ how are you?” As Aaron give Rob peck on the check whilst holding his hand. 

“ feeling bit woozy and sick. But I’m sure I’ll get used to it. “ giving Aaron a small smile as Aaron did the same. 

“ I love you Aaron. “ 

“ I love you too. “ 

“ wonder if Liv be alright today? She was quite yesterday barely coming out of room. I don’t want her thinking she’s in the way. “ Robert sounding concerned. 

“ we’ll talk to her and say she will never get in the way, because she isn’t. But I think she is just scared about you having cancer and she wants to distant herself to get around the idea I think. “ Robert agreeing before going back to his daydreaming again. 

It was 10 more minuets till the nurse said they can leave, it went rather quickly it didn’t feel like an hour but then it did feel like it was taking an age. 

Robert and Aaron got Seb from Diane’s house and they made their way to the Mill. Liv was already home on her phone whilst watching television, when she saw Robert she started to get her things and make her way upstairs when Roberts voice stopped her. “ Liv, come here will ya? “ she quietly walked over to him and sat down at the table, whilst Aaron was getting Sebs food ready.   
“ you do know that cancer isn’t contagious you know? “ Robert tried to joke attempting to make her laugh, she did smile but then started to speak quietly.   
“ I know that. “ she looked down started to play with her fingers. 

“ why are you being distant for? You hardly speak to me anymore, your always in your room I don’t want you to feel pushed out. “ 

“ I-I just don’t want to be in the way. Your going through this and you don’t need me in the way. “ Robert moved closer to Liv and hugged her, he spoke in her hair. “ don’t ever say that again okay? You will never be in the way, never. Yes I’m going through this and it’ll be hard but I need you as well don’t I? I need you to annoy me all the damm time. “ both chucked as she wiped away a tear that fell down her face. “ so, your going to stop going into your room wherever you see me? Because I’m starting to get offended now.” 

“ don’t always want to see your ugly mug. “ Liv was back to her usual snarky self, Robert laughed and joked that she was a cheeky sod, he noticed Aaron’s smile when he glanced at them, he was done feeding Seb he was playing with his toys in the living room whilst Aaron was in the kitchen making tea. 

As Liv was walking to the living room to go onto her phone and have a quick play with Seb, Robert walked over to Aaron pulled him in for a back hug, putting his head on his husbands shoulder, as he was rubbing Aaron’s arm. “ so, what are we having for tea? “ 

Aaron leaning into his husbands touch and simply said.   
“ Cabbage, sweet potato and sausages. “ he felt Robert frown. “ you need healthy food to get your strength up. “ Robert rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything because he knew Aaron just wants to help. 

As they were eating Robert was was violently sick in the bathroom all through the night whilst Aaron was rubbing his hand on his husbands back to comfort him, Robert went to bed feeling ill having a terrible headache, still feeling sick but he eventually drifted off to sleep to have a repeat performance tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning
> 
> I’ve never written smut before I’ve read it loads so I’ve basically gone with the stuff I’ve read. I think I got some positions wrong and other things wrong relating to sex, if I have written the smut wrong I’m sorry. Haha. Anyway, enjoy reading. :)

Every night Robert would be violently sick and have the headache from hell to say Robert was feeling ill was a understatement and it has only been 2 weeks of chemotherapy and biological therapy. It’s not looking good because Robert has another 3 - 6 months of this to go through. But Aaron was ever so patient with Robert and so supportive when Robert was leaning against the toilet at 2am in the morning, from crying in agony because he started to develop rashes where the drip would go, he would have redness and would be sore, too weak to get out of bed, too weak to eat and drink all he ever did was sleep. Seb would came into his room with one of his books asking for his daddy, Robert would always try to find the strength to read to him because even if Robert would have only few months left he doesn’t want Seb to remember him laying in bed, being too frail. He didn’t want to upset their son so he pretended he was fine even when all he wanted to do was cry and scream into his pillow from the painful waves that hit him. Liv, Vic and Chas were also very supportive they would look after Seb when Robert and Aaron try to have some alone time, they would help with Robert when Aaron has a scrap run to do or when he just needs few hours to himself because of the stress of the situation he was in but he never give up on Robert. 

When Robert finished his chemotherapy for the day he went home collapsing onto the couch, too exhausted to move Aaron would cook tea for them even when Robert felt the nausea coming or when he was sick Aaron would always force Robert to eat even if it was soup with vegetables in it with butty bread on the side. 

Aaron was currently in the kitchen cooking himself a pizza and Robert tomato soup because the Doctor recommended it if Robert doesn’t fancy anything else, Aaron does feel guilty that he’s having a proper meal but Robert always told him that he shouldn’t. Aaron nudged Robert awake when he was sleeping on the couch. “ Rob your tea is here. Wake up. “ as he placed the cup and plate onto the table, Robert slowly woke up and sat up slowly with the help off his husband. 

“ hmm. Feel dreadful. I don’t want to eat that. “ as he grimaced at his food. 

Aaron put the cup into Robert’s hand and the plate onto his lap and told him firmly that he needed the food to keep his strength up and Robert rolled his eyes playfully as Aaron laughed whilst putting the television on. “ so, what do you want to watch? “ as he took mouthful of his pizza. 

After taking a sip and bite out of his bread Robert replied. “ what about a rewatch? I’m thinking prison break? “ as he drank some more of his soup. 

“ don’t drink so much, so fast the doctor said it’ll make the nausea worse if you down it. “ raising his voice a little. “ really prison break? That’s boring now.” 

Robert rolled his eyes and huffed before smirking. “ Lord of the rings? “ knowing Aaron hates Roberts taste. 

“ god I rather sit here in silence than watch that crap. “ as he laughed 

“ okay then let’s sit in silence and just enjoy each other’s company then. “ as he carried on eating and drinking. 

Aaron proper looked at him to see if he was being serious or not. Robert looked at him with a confused look on his face whilst having his mouth full of bread. Looking cute. “ what? “ Aaron just shuck his head smiling to himself because Robert would rather watch no tv and just sit with his husband. 

After they finished their tea Aaron put his plate and Roberts onto the table and then turned to Robert holding his hand whilst kissing his knuckles.   
“ how are you feeling then whilst having chemo? “ 

Robert shrugged as he playing with Aaron’s fingers and then his wedding ring. “ the side effects make it worse but supposed it’s doing it’s job isn’t it? “ 

Aaron nodding his head. “ it’s been horrible to watch you go through this you know? Watching you be sick, aching everyday, having rashes. Getting thinner each day. “ Aaron’s voice getting smaller and cracking as tears formed in his eyes 

“ I’m sorry I’m putting you through stress. “ as he kissed Aaron on the cheek. 

Aaron held Robert firmly as his voice hardened with passion.   
“ don’t you dare say this is your fault, you didn’t ask to get cancer did you? Your not putting me through anything okay? We’re married in sickness and in health “ as he chucked. 

“ we wrote our own vows. “ Robert had smile on his face remembering their wedding day in July, bright blue clear sky, the sun shining on everyone as Robert and Aaron standing in the church hall crying happy tears as they were making vows to each other. 

Aaron remembering the day as well smiling on his face he couldn’t shake off. “ yeh we did but the original ones still stand.”   
Robert kissed Aaron he got closer until he was fully on Aaron’s lap the kisses got hotter and messier till Aaron pulled away breathless. “ are you sure?” Sounding concern. 

Robert laughed breathlessly.   
“ I’m I sure I want my husband?” 

Aaron chucked as he put his hand on Robert’s chest feeling his heart beat faster. “ no I mean are you up to it? “ Robert’s reply was more kisses but Aaron needed an answer because he didn’t want Robert getting himself more ill because he is always out of energy. 

“ Robert I’ll do all the work okay? I don’t want you making yourself more ill. “ sounding concerned but Robert just nodded as he lay beneath his husband. Aaron was taking off Roberts clothes throwing them anywhere as Robert was doing the same, when they were fully naked they lay on top of each other acting like teenagers leaving hickeys and just kissing, both of them moaning both having a hard on, Aaron started to stroke Robert off and cup his balls, Robert had his hands in Aaron’s hair pulling him closer to him as he put his legs around Aaron pushing him farther into Robert. “ mmm... please I need you now.... “ Robert sounding needy as he grabbed a handful of Aaron’s arse into his hands, he started to suck Aaron’s neck but Aaron slid down Robert kissing his husbands thin body as he made it to his cock and he teased Robert blowing hot air onto it, Robert lifting his hips as he wriggled about desperately wanting his husband. Suddenly Aaron put Roberts cock into his mouth until the head hit the back of his throat and he starting throating it Robert cum fast, after Robert came down from his high, Aaron pulled away looking flushed as he had his own cum over himself and Robert, he lay back onto Robert breathlessly and started kissing him again, he turned Robert onto his stomach Aaron opened Roberts arse keeps wide blow into his hole, as Robert gasped at the sudden air he was moaning again, Aaron licking around his hole before sticking his cock into Robert having a fast rhythm before starting to go slow, making love to his husband he came into Robert before just laying against him as both men were going down from their organism. Aaron lay on top of Robert before stroking his husbands back and gently kissing him. “ you feeling okay?” Just making sure Robert didn’t over do it. 

Robert’s voice sounding dark with lust still and a bit exhausted. “ I’m more than okay, I missed you know. It’s been a while. “ as he kissed Aaron’s hand. 

Aaron nodding “ I missed you too, it’s much more better having the real thing than doing it in the shower with your left hand. “ laughing into his husband. 

Robert loved the feeling of his husband, especially when he could feel everything single thing. He nodded as Aaron pulled out he lay at Roberts side as they hugged each other gently kissing each other again, Robert falling asleep the last thing coming out of his mouth of I love you, Aaron smiled looking at his gorgeous husband looking so peaceful when he slept. Aaron gently got up and cleaned himself up as he got the dirty clothes into the washing machine and cleaned the couch and Robert up, when he was done he got the blanket that fall onto the floor placed it on top of himself and Robert as he feel asleep next to his husband.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert loses his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone want to show my recent fic some love? The one with Robert and Neil meeting up at Bar West afterwards Robert getting high from drugs? It does have a look through Robert’s past when he was sent away. 
> 
> Seriously though thank you for reading my fics I’m very grateful that all ( maybe some? ) enjoy them. :)

Aaron slowly woke up, his back ached a little bit and he noticed that he was crammed at the edge, that’s when he realised both of them slept on the couch and then fell asleep holding each other. 

Aaron looked over his shoulder and smiled when Robert was squashed between the couch and himself, Robert’s forehead leaning against Aaron’s back, his right arm wrapped around Aaron’s middle with their hands intertwined, also their legs tangled together with the blanket gently covering them. 

But this is what Aaron loves waking up like this, if it was in bed or on the couch it made him feel loved, it had a warm effect go over his body, Aaron was never the type of bloke to cuddle with, he always liked personal space but when Robert entered his life everything changed, he changed, Aaron now loves cuddles when they’re watching tv, in bed or in the Woolpack. Aaron is more into holding hands now than he was before, he wouldn’t even consider holding hands when he was much younger with a bloke but somehow Robert changed him, now he loves to do all the domestic things and he doesn’t care who judges him because it’s his life. 

When Aaron turns over he wraps his arm around his husband and gently kisses him on his forehead, cheek, nose and lips, Aaron plays with Robert’s hair twirling it in his hands, Robert stirs, then he opens his eyes he has a sleepy, dreamily smile on his face and it just makes him ten times cuter and it just makes Aaron fall more deeply in love with his husband even more than he realised. 

Robert kisses Aaron on the lips, he speaks with a croaky, sleepy voice. “ what time is it? “ as he puts his head on Aaron’s chest closing his eyes again. 

Aaron turns a bit and reaches for his phone on the table he looks at the time, and sighs goes back to hugging his husband. “ ugh. It’s 8am. We should get ready because we can see Seb and then we can go to the hospital can’t we? “ Aaron puts his head deeper in the pillow as he strokes Robert’s arm up and down. 

Robert groans “ can we just have 5 more minuets? “ Robert basically whines into Aaron’s chest, Aaron chuckles whilst having a smile on his face looking down at his husband who has fallen asleep again. 

The 5 minuets turn into an hour when they both wake up they panic a bit because Robert’s chemo starts at 10am but then they can make it if they don’t take their time with things, Aaron tells Robert that he’ll be done stairs cooking their breakfast. 

Robert was getting his clothes on when he saw the hickeys on his torso and stomach, he grins remembering last night, how he can still feel his husband. He has the wave of nausea coming, he really doesn’t want to eat but he doesn’t have the heart to tell his husband because Aaron always looks sad and concerned when he doesn’t want to eat, he’ll do anything for his husband, if it made him happy. 

Robert slowly walks to the bathroom because he has no energy left, it makes him feel like an old man, he was about to turn on the tap when he glances in the mirror, he doesn’t recognise the face looking back at him, the man looking at him, has a ghostly grey colour, big black bags under his eyes, he looks unhealthy skinny and it makes his stomach churn, chest tight feeling tears in his eyes because he hates how he looks, how he looks horrendous, how can Aaron still fancy him? How can Aaron still find him attractive especially last night? Robert thinks bitterly to himself. 

Robert puts his hand in his hair when he notices his hair coming out with his fingers, he can see his reflection and he looks horrified, he does it again and more hair comes out, he falls against the bath before falling down it whilst hugging his knees he cries into them, breaking cries filling the bathroom when he hears footsteps running up the stairs and then suddenly strong, firm arms wrapped around him holding him close.  
“ hey? Hey? What’s wrong? What’s happened? “ sounding so concerned and confused. 

Robert’s voice broken and cracking as he looks at his husband through blurry, red eyes. “ my hair is falling out.” new floods of tears are released and he cries again into Aaron’s shoulder, Aaron looks shocked he feels tears in his eyes but when he thinks about it he remembers hair on the couch pillows and how Aaron put his hand into Robert’s hair last night he had hair in his hand, but he didn’t realise then, he didn’t even notice but he doesn’t have the heart to tell Robert because it’ll break him.  
But he doesn’t know what to do, what if he meant to do? He feels so helpless, he sits on the floor with his husband as he cries and cries till nothing is happening, he stops crying and he feels exhausted suddenly. Aaron decides this might be the right time to ask what happened because Robert has stopped crying now and he may get an answer out of him.  
“ what happened? How did you find out your hair was falling out?” 

“ I was coming in here to put on the water when I glanced at the mirror all I did was put my hand in my hair and it started to fall out and I just broke down. “ he stops talking because he sounds like he is going to cry again, but he frowns before looking at Aaron with a confused look on his face. “ I don’t get it? How can you stand to look at me? I look hideous and disgusting, I’m unhealthily skinny, got bags under my eyes, I look like death. I don’t even know how you find me attractive? How could you sleep with me last night without feeling sick by looking at me? “ Robert actually sounding confused you can hear the bitterness, negativity in his voice and it just breaks Aaron’s heart in two when his husband lists off negative things about himself. 

Aaron holds Robert tighter as he speaks when he does he sounds passionate and so confident, that it makes Robert want to turn away and hide from the world. “ you are not hideous or disgusting never say that again, you are the most attractive, fit bloke I’ve over laid my eyes on okay? That’s why I married ya, I don’t see you any differently from few months ago I still see the exactly same man I married. Don’t ever say those type of things again okay? “ Aaron’s one voice breaking as he has tears in his eyes because just watching his husband crying on the floor and talking bitterly about himself hurts deeper than anything else would. He hates watching his husband go through this, he wishes he could just take away this pain from his husband right now. Robert nods as he clings to Aaron tighter they stay like that for awhile till Aaron says they need to go to the hospital, Aaron helps Robert up and then hugging him and kissing him on the lips at least Robert responds but it doesn’t reach his eyes as they do before, Robert misses the pained look on Aaron’s face when Robert lightly pushes past Aaron to go downstairs. 

They make it to the hospital just in time the nurse, who always talks to them with such gentleness and kindness that it reminds Robert of his Mum, it just makes him feel more emotional, the nurse notices something is wrong but doesn’t do anything or say anything, because it isn’t her place she may drop a hint or let Aaron tell her because he might want some advice. 

Robert is set up on the drip and has fallen asleep on the chair with a pillow tucked under his head, as his right arm is leaning on the arm chair with another pillow under his arm. Aaron is holding his hand, sitting next to him, whilst reading a magazine when the nurse comes over speaks to Aaron as she takes a seat next to him. “ is Robert okay? It is only because he looked like he has been crying. “ 

“ yeh only about finding out his hair is falling out I think it was just a shock to the system I think. “ as he looked to his husband to see if he was still asleep. 

The nurse nodding as she give him a sympathetic smile. “ ahh yes it would be a shock, but he can always hide the patches with hats couldn’t he? “ trying to be helpful, giving advice. 

Aaron huffed out a laugh looking at his husband whilst rolling his eyes. “ he wouldn’t like that. Will all his hair fall out?” Sounding worried for husband because it might throw Robert over the edge. 

The nurse smiled sadly as she patted Aaron’s arm. “ yes it will I’m afraid, but it can always grow back in time, it’ll be less painful if you shaved it all off in one go, to make the process less painful because you wouldn’t be watching his hair fall out slowly.” Aaron nodding not knowing what to say to his husband letting him know that he may have to shave it off, he just doesn’t want to see the pained and upset expression on Robert when Aaron tells him. 

The nurse changes the subject. “ how long have you two been married then? “ 

Aaron smiles wherever that’s brought up because it was one of the happiest days of his life.  
“ we got married two years ago in July. But known each other for 7 years we had a off/on relationship. It’s little bit complicated and kinda full of drama. “ laughing a bit. 

The nurse looks surprised.  
“ wow long time I see. Some people these days can’t even last 6 months, but you two knowing each other for 7 years and can’t get your hands off each other, you can really tell you two love each other you know? You can just tell with the vibes you set off especially the love puppy eyes you two send each other. “ the nurse laughing at Aaron’s embarrassed and awkward face, as he blushes. The nurses phone beeped and she had to go leaving Aaron sitting with Robert, who is still asleep.  
Another 10 minuets go by till Robert wakes up but few moments later he is sick the nurses rush to him and give him water with another bucket to wash his mouth out as he is all cleaned up he is dozy he still feels sick and his eyes well up with tears, when he speaks he sounds so deflated. “ I don’t want to do this anymore it’s horrible. I can feel the poison they’re giving me, I’m always sick and ill. “ 

Aaron cups his husbands face strokes his thumb over his cheekbone. “ you’re not giving up on yourself Robert, I won’t let ya. Your going to fight this okay? “ Robert nods before drifting off to sleep again, Aaron has a moment to himself silently crying because he is terrified that his husband would just stop the treatment, he doesn’t want Robert to give up because Aaron needs Robert he would be lost without him Robert is his other half and if Robert died a part of Aaron will die with him. 

When Robert has finished another load of chemo for one day the doctor meets them and tells them Robert needs to see him tomorrow in the morning, he reassure them it’s not bad news but that doesn’t help the panic in Aaron and the dread in Robert. When they’re going home with Aaron driving they have to stop 5 times because of Robert being sick and with Robert feeling guilty being apologetic. 

They finally make it home with Robert again collapsing on he couch, Aaron cooking again it’s turned into a routine of theirs till Aaron gently nudges Robert awake and decides to tell Robert about the hair situation because he doesn’t like keeping things from his husband. “ Rob, Rob wake up your soups ready.” They have both decided that it is better that Robert sticks to soups because when Robert tried a proper meal he couldn’t keep it down but at least with soups it stays in his system long enough till he is sick in the night. 

“ erm.... when you were in the hospital today and the nurse came over I asked her about your hair. If it will fall out completely and she said yeh it will. “ Robert having a blank expression on his face but his eyes speak instead and he looks devastated his eyes well up again. “ she said that you should just shave off your hair completely because it’ll hurt less than watching your hair fall out day by day. “ 

Robert stays still till he silently cries again and he flinches a bit when Aaron touches his shoulder but Robert nods his head like he is agreeing to something in his head before speaking. “ I think it’ll be easier wouldn’t it? Yeh it will be painful to shave off my hair but I think it’ll be easier than just watch it. Anyway I can wear hats or beanies couldn’t I? “ 

Aaron moves closer to Robert as he puts his arm around Roberts shoulder kisses his head. “ I’m proud of you, you know? You going through this. But just don’t think this will change my opinion or me fancying ya will change because it won’t. “ Robert is too overwhelmed by everything and he simply just nods his head and then gives Aaron a light kiss. For the rest of the night they watch movies but between watching one movie Aaron starts to kiss Robert’s neck before he is completely on Robert’s lap and they both have a passionate kiss with hands going over each other feeling everything till Aaron lays Robert down as he is on top he moans whilst he is kissing Robert’s neck and whispers into Robert’s ear, “ I’m going to show you how much I fancy ya. “ as he kisses Robert all over and teasing him and not letting Robert touch himself because Aaron needs Robert to know that he is still loved and treasured. 

After they have 2 rounds of making love they are laying side by side both panting, sticky and sweaty but they rather be laying next to each other like this than be anywhere else. Robert turns his head gently kisses Aaron’s shoulder and intertwine their hands together. “ I think it’s time to shave off my hair. I can feel my hair over the couch I think it’ll be easier to be a egg head than feeling my hair come out. “ 

Aaron laughs into Robert’s crook of his neck tracing Robert’s chest. “ egg head? If that’s what you want we can do it now if you like?” Robert nods before saying they should head into the shower and then shave his head, they don’t have sex in the shower but they do just have wet kisses, well obviously because they are under water it’s bound to be wet, and they get out of the shower before getting themselves dry. 

Robert is in the mirror looking nervous whilst Aaron getting the shaver looking hesitant he gently puts his hand on Robert’s shoulder and kisses it before speaking. “ are you sure you want to do this?” 

“ well technically it’s you that is shaving my hair isn’t it? “ Robert jokes, Aaron grins before Robert looking serious. “ yeh I am serious I rather do it now than regret it and chicken out. “ Aaron nods his head turning on the shaver, Robert goes tense and when he feels the shaver touch his head with his hair coming off he silently cries as Aaron carries on with his job whilst blinking away tears, when Aaron is done he blows out a breath looking at the back of Robert’s head, it is completely shaven, the whole time whilst Aaron was doing his job Robert had his eyes closed whilst gripping the sink because he couldn’t watch his beautiful, blonde, thick hair falling to the floor but when he eventually looked in the mirror he did break down again looking at the floor with his hair in a heap. Aaron hugged him tighter. 

Robert pulled away looking self conscious. “ what do you think? Do I look really weird? “ 

Aaron held him tighter whilst giving him a kiss on the head. “ you’re not weird. Secondly, you are still fit as before you actually look like a badass. “ aaron said as he was laughing. 

Robert smirked but he still felt a bit emotional because it felt a bit of him has gone, it may sound dramatic, but he loves his hair and Aaron loves it too. Because Aaron always pulls on his hair when they’re kissing, or he just plays with his hair when they are sitting next to each other and now Aaron can’t do anything of those things. 

They went to bed lay there not tired but in the mood to do just nothing. Robert started to speak in the dark room. “ what do you think the doctor wants to talk about tomorrow? “ asking his husband who is laying next to him holding his hand. 

Aaron looks down at their joined hands and then back up to Robert and he squeezed his hand tighter for reassurance. “ I don’t know but whatever happens we will deal with it together. “ as he gently kisses Robert’s cheek, fall asleep till the morning.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert gets bad or good news about his cancer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter. :) 
> 
> Thank you to all for reading this and the others Fics I write. I’m very gratefu. :)

“ We have done tests and the results have come through positive. “ the doctor breaks into a smile whilst Robert and Aaron sit in shock they feel so relieved. “ You still however need to carry on with the treatment but it just means that it is working. You need to carry on with all appointments there still may be possibility the cancer might come back. “ Robert and Aaron nod understanding the serious of the situation and the conversation they just had because Robert really doesn’t want the cancer to come back and be worse than before, also Aaron he doesn’t want Robert having less chance of surviving if it comes back. 

They leave the doctors room and walk down to the shooting Star Ward where they will always be for one hour a day for the next 2 months. 

“ I just can’t believe it, the treatment is actually working and if it completely disappears I won’t have to take chemo again! “ Robert says just gobsmacked he can’t believe it he’s still getting used to the idea that the treatment is working. 

Aaron grins tears in his eyes as he holds Robert’s arm. “ I can’t believe it either but I’m so happy because I don’t know what I would do if they said it’s not working and they would tell us that you have no chance of beating this. “ He looks down at his lap trying to keep control of his emotions because he really doesn’t want to breakdown in a room with strangers in. 

Robert lifts up Aaron’s chin and gives him a light kiss on the cheek as he gently strokes his cheek. “ don’t think about that okay? We need to stay positive.” Robert kisses Aaron’s shoulder and falls asleep, Aaron on the other hand can’t he looks at his beautiful husband, Robert has changed physically over the last few weeks with him losing a lot weight, having no hair, getting rashes and it pains Aaron seeing this confident, snarky and bit of a cocky bastard go through this massive experience, all Aaron wants to do is take away Robert’s pain, but one thing has changed is that Robert and Aaron are a lot more closer than they were ever before Aaron has fallen even more in love with his husband because Robert is being so strong when he looks like he is going to fall apart. 

It has been 3 months now of chemotherapy and biological therapy, 3 months of crying, losing hope but gaining it back, sleepless nights of worrying, and now they are going to the doctors office to see if the cancer has completely gone. To say Aaron and Robert are terrified is a understatement, both men just hope, pray, that the cancer has gone, because one night when they were laying in bed being clingy, Robert said in a serious tone but under layered with worry and sadness, if the cancer doesn’t go if he is offered more treatment he would decline, he would stop fighting because he wouldn’t want to go through more months of agony for it not to work, he also said that he doesn’t want Aaron, Liv, Seb and everyone else seeing Robert so fragile to see the final moments of Robert Sugden look so ill. That was the moment when Aaron’s heart sank, when the physical ached turned worse, when he couldn’t breathe and he just broke down, sobbing into Robert’s body, pleading him not to say stupid things like that because Aaron doesn’t want Robert to go even if he is watching Robert get worse, he doesn’t care because his husband is still here breathing and he isn’t going anywhere. 

They walk into the corridor and stand by the doctors door they hold each other’s hand tighter and walk in. “ Hello, Mr Sugden, Mr Dingle. I’ve read the sheets to see how everything is going and how you are responding to the treatment and I’m pleased to know you can go into remission. “ 

Aaron and Robert sit in shock.   
“ so the cancer has gone? “ sounding shell shocked. 

The doctor smiles. “ yes there is no more traces of cancerous cells in your body, the treatment has worked very well. “ Robert starts crying so as Aaron and they are hugging each other when they pull away they start to laugh. “ God I don’t know what to say. I’m just so thankful and relieved. “ Robert sounding emotional and bit embarrassed for crying in front of a stranger. 

They both leave and go home as they tell Liv. “ I’ve got some happy news to tell you. “ Liv’s face lights up. “ Your stuck with me for bit longer. “ Liv lunges towards Robert hugs him tightly around the waist, crying into his chest, Robert hugs her back and they stay like that for while before they pull away and Liv goes upstairs, they tell Seb that Daddy is better he won’t be ill anymore Seb hugs him and asks him loads of questions, both Robert and Aaron put his mind to rest, they tell the rest of the family and they want to celebrate but both men say in the most politest way that they don’t want to go because they want a normal evening to just be together.

Later that night both men are in bed, Aaron laying on top of his husband naked, they are just enjoying the moment, both of them are so grateful that they want be separated and they just hug each other, kiss for hours till lips are red and swollen, they both fall asleep holding each other being so content, excited with what the future holds for them.

**Author's Note:**

> Should I leave this or carry on or delete it?
> 
>  
> 
> Tumblr - Smugrobron


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